MY ACCOUNT

November 22

Hi mum,
 

Wow, it’s been a while since my last letter. And I know I left you hanging with my news. But I’ve got to tell you, it has been a very full month!

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After finishing the cookbook, sending Nora off, and having time to reflect, I realized that because Nora had been the driving force behind my recent life changes – and with her now gone – it was up to me to commit to carrying forward and onward with the life I really want to live. I was lucky to get a glimpse of that with her help.

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As I learned at the carnival and the potluck, Salt also opened me up; it gave me an experience that enthralled me and interested others. It became my catalyst for change, adding depth to my life by inviting people in – and the house has continued to be a regular hot spot, even after Nora left! (I’m sure it’s because of all the extravagant teas and snacks we always have here.)

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And while Salt was the perfect project to undertake with Nora and Jenna, it was still largely a solo undertaking.

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But because it drew so many people into my life, I could see that it also created a larger opportunity - for me and for this community.

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So last month I made a decision about how I could take that opportunity and move forward in building the life I want. And I registered a new business… for a bakery, named Salt.

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When I was growing up, I watched how you worked magic on the food truck, not just with the food, but with the customers. And while I always felt like I didn’t pick that up myself, I think this is the next step for me to develop that.

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I’ve loved my time working at the restaurant, and I’ve also loved stepping back into the kitchen for the cookbook. I want to continue to cook, to explore the use of salt in sweet treats and push those flavor boundaries a bit more. But I don’t want to hide in a cookbook again.

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With the bakery, I like that I can share this flavor exploration with other people, that I can see them enjoy the things I make – and I really like the idea of being a more constant, local presence this time around; to be an anchor, through Salt.

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Of course, as soon as I registered the business, the nerves hit. All the doubt, all the questions: Can I really do this? Will I regret it? Will I feel exposed? Will I be tied down? I won’t be able to “escape” if I hate it and change my mind…

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But things turned and moved so quickly after I shared the news that all the doubts and questions simmered down. They didn’t disappear, but they felt… satiated? I don’t know if that’s the best way to explain it, but here’s what happened after I shared the news…

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First, there was a lot of screaming, and yes, it was Jenna. She got so excited, she immediately started talking about what we could do with it, how we could set it up, asking whether I’d planned the layout, looking up equipment pricing. And I know that sounds like more overwhelm, but it actually calmed me down. I love that about Jenna, that she’s always up for an adventure and doesn’t even need to be asked to come along for it.

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And Jenna being Jenna, the very next evening she was in my kitchen the moment I got home from work, with a stack of notes on properties she’d already found that might work for the bakery.

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Nora’s excited too; she’s already planning a visit home for the holidays and is demanding regular updates on the business progress until she can be here to be physically part of it. She had ideas about the location, too, which was helpful because she had a more youthful perspective on the popular places in town, and some notes on the places I told her Jenna had found.

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Word spread quickly after Jenna began looking at properties, and Peggy joined in on the hunt too. So, she and Jenna started coming over every evening to share updates on properties, discuss when we could schedule visits to check out the promising ones, and get Nora’s input on the places they’d found.

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Because Lou had been coming over so much before Nora left, it became custom for her to stay over for dinner most nights. When I told her about the bakery and business prep, she started bringing a main dish over so I wouldn’t have to worry about it, and now on most nights she brings the whole meal! She’s even been trying her hand at some of the recipes from the cookbook. And when Jenna and Peggy started coming over in the evenings, Lou started bringing over a larger pot for our meals, making plates for all of us while we pored over the property notes. I think she wanted to be part of it, too… and I’m so glad.

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I’m touched that these people I’ve known of for so long, but only recently really gotten to know as friends, are so happy and excited for me, and so eager to help and take part in this adventure with me. It may have started because of Nora, but this time it really feels like it’s FOR me, and I still feel like some days I have a hard time wrapping my mind around that. I hope some day I can show them just how much this means to me – how much they mean to me. I can’t imagine they have any idea what it’s been like for me, to have gone from never having had friends and hiding from life, to having a community of them, all supporting an endeavor I had never even dared to dream of before.

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And I know that no matter what happens with the bakery, whether it takes off like a rocket or whether it fizzles out and closes in a month, I’m going to feel like I’ve won. Because that’s how I feel now, with my heart so full.

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Oh. I think I heard Jenna and Lou at the door – yup, someone just turned the kettle on. Better go!

 

 

Love,

 

Beatrix